Wants and Needs

As a teacher I have tried to teach children the difference between wants and needs many years. But now I find myself struggling with the difference. This week I found myself battling my heart and my brain for this concept. I ran on Tuesday and felt wonderful but I did not feel 100% on Wednesday. I walked on Thursday and felt great on Friday. The problem I am struggling with is ....I WANT to run, but I NEED to listen to my body. Now, for me this is difficult. I don't like to NOT be able to do something that I have been able to do for decades and plan to continue for decades. However, I also do NOT NEED to have a 24 week old baby. I also do NOT NEED to be on bed rest. So...I competed (if you want to call it that) in a race this morning WALKING the ENTIRE time. Now, I can't tell you how many times I welled up with tears, because I wanted so badly to run. But I knew that it is not about me ...it is about this little one inside me and getting it nice and plump and healthy and born in MARCH. 
Now this is not the end of my running. I am actually going to try to run on the treadmill tomorrow and see how it goes. At least I will be at home and can stop if I need to and still be at home. I go back to the midwife next week and plan to discuss my concerns. I know I am six years older with this pregnancy. I now understand how the elderly feel when your brain tells your body something and your body can't or won't listen. UGH!!!!
BUT....as I write this I think about last year at this time. I competed in the same race after having a miscarriage a few days earlier. My body was weak. my mind was weaker, and my heart was broken. I think I can handle a little lesson WANTS and NEEDS to help me remember that I am 2/3 of the way through this pregnancy and I can handle sucking it up in order to have a healthy baby!